randomInsult()
{
    INSULT="Oops! Something bad happened.|\
            What did you do this time.|\
            Put the pipe down and pay attention.|"
    INDEX=$RANDOM
    RANGE=$(echo ${INSULT} | awk 'BEGIN {FS="|"} {print NF - 1}')
    let "INDEX %= ${RANGE}"
    [ ${INDEX} == 0 ] && let 'INDEX += 1'
    Return_Val="$(echo ${INSULT} | cut -f ${INDEX} -d '|')"
    return
}
